Life Update: Better and Better!

Back when I lived in Portland, one of my favorite kids used to say that she was getting “biy-tter and biy-tter” (better and better), and that’s what echoes in my mind each day! The Doxycycline used to treat Lyme knocked me out for a few days, and while I’m not back to normal yet, I’m definitely functional.

Better and Better | Frock Files

For privacy reasons, I won’t divulge too much about what’s going on with my father-in-law. That said, it turns out that we’ve been right about one thing all along–he’s truly one in a million. In fact, that’s the likelihood of getting the virus that he’s been diagnosed with. We’re so lucky to live in Massachusetts with such world class facilities and doctors. It’s a long road ahead for him, but he’s a fighter.

What got me through last week–which involved many days in the hospital, lots of time in bed, and even a car accident–was filling up on beauty. I finished The Opposite of Loneliness, listened to a lot of music, and caught up on my favorite blogs. I missed my dance classes but I got to watch this absolutely gorgeous number, which made my heart swell the way dance always does. It is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I thought you might like it too.

Thank you, as always, for your kind thoughts and friendship.

Life Update: Unwell

Frock Files | Unwell

It never occurred to me until this past couple of weeks that I’ve never been that sick. Oh sure, I’ve had a couple of nasty bouts of the flu and my share of run ins with colds, but never anything that wouldn’t go away with time, sleep, and Nora Ephron movies.

But a couple of weeks ago, I was exhausted as I drove into work and as soon as I sat down at my desk this overwhelming malaise washed over me. I eventually started having flu-like muscle aches and I braced myself for a virus. It never came. Instead, the aches traveled to my joints. And the fatigue. I wake up and feel immediately like going back to sleep.

These symptoms are scary in their nebulousness. I did the exact thing you’re not supposed to do–Googled my symptoms. Everything from chronic fatigue to MS to bacterial meningitis came up. Meanwhile, at 10 days in, I wasn’t feeling any better.

Frock Files | Unwell

Those of you who are connected with me on Instagram know that I went to urgent care last Friday. Let’s just say that it was a disaster. So yesterday, I went to my new GP for the very first time and she decided to run blood tests for a whole host of things (B12 deficiency, D deficiency, thyroid disease…the list goes on). But she also put me on Doxycycline, the antibiotic used to treat Lyme disease, while we await the results. It makes me so, so sick.

Am I too old to say that I want my parents? Whenever I get sick, I wish I could be magically transported straight to my childhood bedroom for a steady stream of my mom’s cooking, freshly picked papaya, creme crackers, guava juice, and parental reassurance. All of this is happening as James’ dad has been in the hospital, so I’m enduring this mostly on my own. Kona, while a good napping partner, hasn’t yet been trained to fetch bowls of soup.

And yet. After my bouts of inward tantrums (“I’m so tired of being tired!”), what lies beneath is this realization that I understand something more deeply. (For being raised in a Buddhist family, I had quite a Christian upbringing, and this quote has always stuck with me:)

strong

This is my mantra as I wait for these test results. This is my will for James’ dad as we try to figure out what’s wrong with him. Strength, it seems, can surface in the unlikeliest of times.

—–

Image beneath quotation via Stocksy

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