Life Update: Unwell

Frock Files | Unwell

It never occurred to me until this past couple of weeks that I’ve never been that sick. Oh sure, I’ve had a couple of nasty bouts of the flu and my share of run ins with colds, but never anything that wouldn’t go away with time, sleep, and Nora Ephron movies.

But a couple of weeks ago, I was exhausted as I drove into work and as soon as I sat down at my desk this overwhelming malaise washed over me. I eventually started having flu-like muscle aches and I braced myself for a virus. It never came. Instead, the aches traveled to my joints. And the fatigue. I wake up and feel immediately like going back to sleep.

These symptoms are scary in their nebulousness. I did the exact thing you’re not supposed to do–Googled my symptoms. Everything from chronic fatigue to MS to bacterial meningitis came up. Meanwhile, at 10 days in, I wasn’t feeling any better.

Frock Files | Unwell

Those of you who are connected with me on Instagram know that I went to urgent care last Friday. Let’s just say that it was a disaster. So yesterday, I went to my new GP for the very first time and she decided to run blood tests for a whole host of things (B12 deficiency, D deficiency, thyroid disease…the list goes on). But she also put me on Doxycycline, the antibiotic used to treat Lyme disease, while we await the results. It makes me so, so sick.

Am I too old to say that I want my parents? Whenever I get sick, I wish I could be magically transported straight to my childhood bedroom for a steady stream of my mom’s cooking, freshly picked papaya, creme crackers, guava juice, and parental reassurance. All of this is happening as James’ dad has been in the hospital, so I’m enduring this mostly on my own. Kona, while a good napping partner, hasn’t yet been trained to fetch bowls of soup.

And yet. After my bouts of inward tantrums (“I’m so tired of being tired!”), what lies beneath is this realization that I understand something more deeply. (For being raised in a Buddhist family, I had quite a Christian upbringing, and this quote has always stuck with me:)


This is my mantra as I wait for these test results. This is my will for James’ dad as we try to figure out what’s wrong with him. Strength, it seems, can surface in the unlikeliest of times.


Image beneath quotation via Stocksy

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  1. I hope you feel better soon, Joy! Sending good vibes your way! xx

  2. You poor thing! I hope you get word back from your doctor soon and that whatever it is that’s been bothering you is easy to get rid of. I’m sorry to hear about James’ dad! Wishing you both speedy recoveries.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling so crappy! From personal experience, the worst part is also the not knowing. Hopefully your doctor will have some answers for you soon that will relieve both your anxiety and your fatigue. Obviously I’m not an MD, but I felt similarly tired when I had mono in my 20s. Maybe?

    • Thanks, PJ. And you’re so astute–they’re testing me for mono too. The symptoms are so similar to so many different things, so it’s hard to know. She doesn’t think it’s mono because I don’t have a fever or any swelling, but it’s definitely on the list.

  4. Hoping for the best, Joy. And hoping you get some relief soon. xo

  5. Thinking of you, Joy and hope you get an answer soon.


  6. Sending you and Jame’s dad wishes of wellness and speedy recoveries… I’m glad you went to your doctor and hope that you turn the corner soon!

    • Thanks, Steph. Both of us are sort of doctor avoiders, so it definitely means something that we both went in–although James’ dad is in a much scarier situation. We’re hoping for the best on all accounts. xo

  7. I am so sorry to hear of your illness. Hope you start to feel better soon. Sending many well wishes!! xoxo

  8. I hope you feel better soon. Not knowing can be very trying.

  9. Oh my gosh Joy I’m so sorry. I totally know what you mean about wanting your parents’ care when you’re sick – it doesn’t matter how old you are! I hope everything gets sorted out soon. Until then, more Nora Ephron movies! xo

  10. Joy! I’m so sorry! Crazy that I’m just seeing this. I really hope by now that things are on the up and up. Lyme’s disease is really common in Southeastern Pennsylvania ā€” I know people who’ve been bitten by multiple infected ticks and spent so much time sick and tired.

    I hope & pray for a speedy recovery!

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