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Boston Tea Party
Posted in Bags, Etsy, Everyday Glam, Wordless Wednesdays
Tagged Ballet Flats, Dooney & Bourke, Etsy, J. Crew, Kate Spade, ModCloth
6 Comments
Things I’m Afraid to Tell You
During my senior year of college, I took a seminar in which we examined diaries and memoirs in the context of their ability to capture memories. The big question was whether the documents were an actual representation of memories, or whether they were shaped in some way to create an image that wasn’t quite real. Although it’s been years since that seminar, the question has always hung somewhere inside me, particularly as I began getting more and more involved in creating an online identity. How is it that everyone’s lives are so gleeful on Facebook (Fakebook?)? Look at these bloggers and their beautiful homes, their perfect children, their blissful love lives!
Then, a couple of weeks ago, bloggers began publishing posts entitled “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” and I was immediately intrigued. In these posts, the bloggers wrote about their vulnerabilities — things that aren’t always perfect in their lives. Fears, feelings of awkwardness, embarrassments, oddities. I think we all fear that displaying these things will make people think we’re weak, but as I read these posts all I could feel was that these women were incredibly brave. I felt like saying, Oh, I totally feel that way all the time. It’s not just me?
So — big inhale! Here are a few things:
- I spent much of the last year in sweat pants and fuzzy slippers. While I love fashion and write for lots of different fashion blogs, I was definitely in a bit of a funk and I got ridiculously sloppy. My friend Lindsey calls it “The Grey Period” because practically everything I wore was heather grey.
- While I grew up dancing and continue to love it, I’m not much of a performer. In fact, I’m so self-conscious about my dancing that I feel immediately panicky if I have to do any kind of choreography without a mirror. This is totally embarrassing to admit because it sounds so vain.
- This year, I’m turning 29 and I feel like it’s only now that I’m beginning to understand why doing what’s easy is almost always the wrong path. Nothing that’s brilliant, that brings me overwhelming happiness, has been easy. Those are the things in my life that I cherish most. But it took me so long to get there, and I’m still working on it.
- I spent much of this decade floundering around, taking and quitting jobs at lightning speed. I get into moods where I think that having a regular, full-time job is the right thing to do, and then I take them and die a little bit every day. Though it’s true that the jobs themselves have been the stuff of groan worthy comedies (someone offered me $9 and hour for a graphic design job, thinking he was being generous!), the real problem was me, and my inability to be okay with the fact that I don’t want to work in a cubicle, that I need to be creative, and that I crave the flexibility that trumps all the pitfalls of freelancing. I know all this, and part of me still feels obligated to find a full-time job with benefits and a 401k, yada yada.
- I don’t know if I want to have children. I want to want them, but I’m not quite there yet, and I just don’t know if I ever will be. While I love, love, love my niece and nephew and my dearest darling Adelaide, I’m not sure if I’m cut out for anything greater than auntiehood. What scares me is not knowing when I’ll know for sure, if ever.
- Right now, I’m going through some great, big, huge changes that I can’t really write about yet. And for the first time in my life, I feel really sure that I’m finally doing the best thing. Yet, I feel like I can hear the voices of all the judgment that will pass about my decisions all the time, like white noise in the depths of my consciousness. I’d like to stop caring what everyone thinks — I’m getting there. But it’s something I find really difficult.
All this said, I have to tell you that I really am at a happy point in my life. I guess what I’m realizing is that happiness is a little scary, too. These friendships I’ve made online, and especially these posts about our vulnerabilities, have made me even happier. For you, I’m forever grateful.
Posted in Uncategorized
15 Comments
Bright Lights on Supal of chevrons & éclairs
About a month ago, I featured Supal’s fabulous blog, chevrons & éclairs, for a Follow Friday post. I’m so thrilled to have her here sharing the things that help her live the glamorous life. Not only is Supal gorgeous and stylish, but she’s incredibly brainy and successful as well–truly a bright light.
What do you do for a living? I work in the public sector in the field of international development as a specialist for Middle East development and micro-finance [and sometimes interpretor from English to Arabic]! In a matter of 5 months, I will be joining the ranks of a graduate student to get my Masters!
Places you’ve lived. I’ve moved around quite a bit between Chicago, DC, New York City, Orlando, Ohio… I will be moving again to London in August/September!
The place you’d most like to visit. I really, really, really, really want to go to Turkey. I’ve decided that if I don’t go before I’m married, I’ll go on my honeymoon. The culture, food and language is so appealing. I also am a huge nerd and find the difference between the Islamic communities in Turkey and the rest of the Muslim World to be so fascinating. I have a travel book I bought 2 years ago and have planned out my trip… just need to go!
Your favorite indulgence. I’m going to cheat. Cupcakes, chocolate, a haircut [because I love when people play with my hair], watching Casablanca in bed, french fries, a pretty latte, beautiful high heels and pretty, pretty dresses. I’ve cheated, but those are seriously my all time favorite indulgences!
The best advice you’d ever received. I got to have dinner with the renowned columnist Nicholas Kristof in fall 2010. His columns and work has significantly shaped my career goals. Fall 2010 was my senior year in college where I was still figuring out what I was going to do. Law school applications were in and if you had asked me before the dinner what I was going to do with my life, “I am going to be a lawyer.” After the meal when we were chatting he told me. “Supal, you have such a spectacular [academic] background, take it and run with it. Do what your heart desires.” He signed my book with, “I hope you make it happen in Washington.” And I did.
1. elf studio tinted moisturizer - Again with the cheap, but awesome makeup. I have sensitive skin and usually end up dropping lots of cash on moisturizers to prevent blemishes. I recently fell in love with the elf tinted moisturizer. It protects my skin from the sun with SPF 20 and it’s key ingredients include aloe, cucumber and vitamins A, C and E. You know it’s good because every time you put it on, it cools your skin.
2. Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick - It’s the cheapest lipstick in the makeup aisle and I love it. I was a bit hesitant to try it out thinking, “it’s cheap, so it can’t be good.” It’s probably better than my YSL lipstick I have. I love bright lip colors, but most high-end brands leave my lips dry. Rimmel’s is amazing and long lasting! Plus, it doesn’t run!
3. Ciao Bella Blackberry Cabernet Sorbet What better combination than sorbet and wine? I’ve had Ciao Bella’s gelato before and loved it, but never had their Cabernet sorbet until a few weeks ago. I ended up eating the entire container in the car!
4. Bodum French Press There is one thing I don’t joke about and that’s my coffee. I will only drink french press of premium coffee. I am very particular about the coffee making/brewing process too. Once I’ve had my cup, I’m good to go for the rest of the day (except Wednesdays). It’s a terrible habit to have a very strict coffee regimen, but you don’t want to see my cranky side.
5. Batiste Dry Shampoo - This stuff is life changing. On days that I have plans after work, I always use this stuff. I have very thick hair and the weight often flattens my hair by the end of the day. I don’t like using hairspray or any other products in my hair. So before I leave the office to meet up for margaritas (every Wednesday!), I spray, fluff and brush this stuff in. It’s like coming out of the shower all over again. Your hair looks fresh and smells clean.
6. KitchenAid Professional HD Stand Mixer - I got this stand mixer only 8 months ago. Before that I had a really “vintage” KitchenAid mixer that didn’t mix, but vibrated. Since the new addition to the kitchen, I’ve been baking up a storm! I actually don’t enjoy baking too much, but it’s been fun trying out different dessert recipes with this thing. I use it at least 3 or 4 times a week!
7. Moleskine Monthly Planner No matter how tech-savvy I am, I am very old school when it comes to planners. I always have mine with me and always get the Moleskin monthly 12 month planner. Here’s something a little OCD about me. I usually only write in lowercase letters. When I write in my planner, I only write in uppercase letters.
8. iPhone 4S, especially Siri I just got my 4S and I love it! I take photos of everything in sight, tomatoes, coupons, my dad. I also find the whole Siri concept fascinating. I try to talk to her and even changed my phone’s language to see if she would understand different languages. She understands Japanese, German, French and English. I later found out you don’t need to change the language settings to figure that out, just ask her.
9. New York Times - I can’t sleep without knowing what is going on in the world. I have been reading the NYT and doing the crossword puzzles since I was in my mother’s womb.
Be sure to check out Supal’s elegant blog, chevrons & éclairs
Thank you, Supal!
Posted in Bright Lights
12 Comments
More Book Love
When it comes to reruns or re-watching things, I’m not the girl to turn to. But when it comes to books, I’ll return to the same words over and over again, and I almost always find something new within them. These two books have gotten me through many difficult moments, and they’ve given me a great gift: lessons in being a better person.
This is a little handbook — the Cliff’s Notes, perhaps, of lessons by the Dalai Lama. The advice is practical, not religious. In it, the Dalai Lama focuses on compassion and kindness; the core values in living a peaceful, happy life. He recommends doing good work, and if you can’t, to at least avoid doing harm to others. Here’s a snippet:
“If you can learn to develop patience and tolerance toward your enemies, then everything else becomes much easier — your compassion toward all others begins to flow naturally.”
- Dalai Lama
Calvin Trillin portrayed his family, and in particular his marriage to his wife, Alice, in funny anecdotes over years of publishing magazine articles, books, and even radio pieces.
When Alice died of cancer, he wrote this book as a celebration of their marriage. He’s truthful in the portrayal of their relationship — she did things that drove him a little crazy, and he did the same to her. But at the core of it, there’s a deep love, a strength in communication, and a mutual admiration that makes those daily annoyances minute in the grand scale of their relationship.
A reader sent Trillin a condolence letter that said that she knew her boyfriend loved her, but she often looked at him across the kitchen table and wondered, “But will he love me the way Calvin loved Alice?” We have so many examples of relationships gone wrong, and I think we could use more about people doing it right.
While we’re talking about enriching entertainment, check out the live theater event that This American Life is hosting next week Thursday, May 10th. TAL is a smart, satisfying, highly thoughtful radio program that I absolutely adore. If you’re a newbie, check out some of my favorite shows: My Pen Pal (in which a little girl befriends a dictator via mail) and Fear of Sleep (in which Mike Birbiglia talks about why he sleeps in a sleeping bag, with mittens on.)
Posted in Books, Grateful, Romantic
Tagged Calvin Trillin, Dalai Lama, This American Life
7 Comments
Wordless Wednesday: Art to Inspiration (May Edition)
Title : Echoes of Fragrant Voices
Name of Artist : Jo Howe
Participate in Art to Inspiration — find out more here.
Posted in Art to Inspiration
Tagged Anthropologie, art to inspiration, chevrons & eclairs, Enzo Angiolini, Etsy
11 Comments
Bright Lights on Adina from Gluten Free Travelette
Adina runs a fabulous blog (Gluten Free Travelette) chronicling her travel adventures on a gluten-free diet. I’m so thrilled that she’s sharing her travel essentials here on Frock Files!
What do you do for a living?: For my day job, I actually work in the emergency management field. I mostly work on product development, event planning, and coordinating with partner organizations. I also write about cooking gluten free with real ingredients, traveling with food intolerances, and growing an edible garden over at my blog, Gluten Free Travelette.
Places you’ve lived: I’m currently living in the Ballard area of Seattle, WA and loving it! I’m originally from Los Altos, CA and spent about 8 years skipping along the California coast living in San Diego, Monterey, and Capitola – always within walking distance of the Pacific Ocean.
The place you’d most like to visit: My top places that I’d most like to visit are the Basque Region of Spain and Pinar Del Rio, Cuba. I’ve found a street with my family’s last name just outside of Bilbao and in Pinar Del Rio there is, or at least once was, a bridge named after my great grandfather. While I probably won’t be going to Cuba anytime soon, I’ll be visiting that street in Spain this September!
Your favorite indulgence: Massage therapy, it’s like a massage at a spa combined with physical therapy. Calming and relaxing combined with positive results on how my body is functioning overall. I also like a good facial now and then – but haven’t found just the right spot here in Seattle yet.
The best advice you’ve ever received: I recently started reading a book called Pioneers of the Possible: Celebrating Visionary Women of the World by Angella M. Nazarian. In it she quotes leadership expert Marcus Buckingham, “Study the happiest and most successful women and you’ll realize they ignore balance, and strive for fullness instead.” I can’t even begin to tell you how much that sentence has changed my outlook on life in the last couple of months. All of a sudden it feels like this huge weight has been lifted off me and I feel free. It’s amazing how much pressure I was putting on myself by trying to find balance in my life.
1. FS/NY Sloop in Black Napa: A great flat that’s compact for travel and goes with pretty much anything.
2. Choice Organic Teas Genmaicha: I’m a bit of green tea fan, I think I’ve got around 7 different types in my tea drawer right now, but this one is my favorite.
3. Jack Black Lemon Chamomile Lip Balm: Technically it’s for men, but it’s a great lip balm that’s not too sticky and it has some sun protection in it as well.
4. Dr. Hauschka Brown Mascara: I’m pretty low key with my make up routine, but this brown mascara that doesn’t clump is on of my go to products.
5. Therm-o Terra: Until recently I never had the wisdom to bring a travel mug with me when I fly. This changed with this easily cleanable double walled glass one.
6. Moleskine XL Monthly Notebook: In order to keep all the calendars in my life straight I’ve defaulted to a paper version. Plus it’s a great to have a place to write down ideas and take notes.
7. My Custom Yellow Cat Mary Bag: My mother-in-law gifted me one of Mary’s amazing bags for my birthday last year and it’s been my go to travel bag. I worked with Mary to pick out custom fabrics that happened to match my wedding colors.
8. Acqua Cures Cellular Repair: A wonderful esthetician in California recommended this cream to me to put on before traveling. It’s super dense and does a great job at protecting my skin from drying out on long flights and drives.
9. Kashmere Green Oversized Plaid Cashmere Scarf: Even if it’s 90 degrees at my destination, I know I’m going to get cold on the plane. So my oversize travel scarf is a necessity.
Be sure to check out Gluten Free Travelette for more recommendations, recipes, and travel tales from Adina!
Photos of Adina were taken by Claire Barret
Posted in Bright Lights, Everyday Glam
Tagged Gluten Free, Moleskine, Travel, Travel Essentials
4 Comments
Giveaway: You Make Me Feel Like…
Since I’m out of town, this Friday post is a short one — but one that’s full of meaning. One of my favorite things to send friends are mixed CDs. I know, who still has CDs, right? For you ladies, I’ve created this playlist. I hope you’ll check out some of the songs listed here. Leave a comment with your current favorite song, and you’ll be entered into a drawing for a $10 iTunes gift card. Have a lovely weekend! xo
Heartbeats – Jose Gonzales
Sweet Disposition – Temper Trap
Low Rising – The Swell Season
Tomorrow is a Long Time – Bob Dylan
Re: Stacks – Bon Iver
José Marmol y Tárija – Cáceres with Arial Prat
We Are Young – Fun.
Mi Confesion – Gotan Project
After an Afternoon – Jason Mraz
Her Morning Elegance – Oren Lavie
Summer Tease
Posted in Etsy, Everyday Glam, Wordless Wednesdays
Tagged Etsy, Farmer's Market, Jeffrey Campbell, jewelry, Old Navy
5 Comments
Bright Lights on Stephanie
Stephanie and I met on Twitter, and through that venue alone I’ve come to see that she has impeccable taste. With a great job and twin toddlers, Stephanie somehow has the time to squeeze in thoughtful, helpful tweets. Here’s to Steph and all you other super moms!
What do you do for a living? I’m a radiologist… I spend my workdays interpreting x-ray, CT, and MRI examinations. I’m also a mom of three-year-old identical twin girls!
Places you’ve lived: Oregon, Michigan for five years, then back to Oregon and here to stay!
The place you’d most like to visit: That’s a hard one. I’d say Europe. As an undergraduate, I minored in Western art history, and I would love to see some of the paintings, sculptures, and buildings I learned about in person.
Your favorite indulgence: Pedicures! I don’t get them often, so when I do they are a real treat.
The best advice you ever received: Was from my dad: “Enjoy the process.” If you always concentrate on the ultimate end goal, you will miss out on enjoying and getting the most out of the path it takes to get there!
1. Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom and Honey cologne: I recently discovered Jo Malone products and was instantly hooked. Fruity fragrances are my favorite and this one is amazing! The fragrances can also be layered to create your own unique combination.
2. Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser: I’ve been washing my face with this day and night since I was a teenager. It’s incredibly gentle and non-drying.
3. Haribo peach gummies: These don’t exactly taste like peaches, but they are still one of my favorite candies! Perfectly sweet with a crusty sugar coating.
4. Watches: I’m one of those people who pretty much always wears a watch. This Skagen watch is one of my current favorites and incorporates the mixed metal trend with silver and rose gold. It’s lightweight and has a low profile design so it’s really comfortable to wear.
5. J.Crew: A long time ago I used to work at J. Crew, and it’s been a favorite of mine ever since. Their vintage tees are so soft and come in a variety of great colors.
6. Louis Vuitton Westminster GM handbag: I love handbags, and right now this one is my go-to for work and everyday running around town. It’s structured and spacious, and the treated canvas is extraordinarily resistant to rain, stains, and scuffing.
7. Ballet flats: I love heels, but if I’m running errands or chasing after my kids, there’s a good chance I’m wearing a pair of ballet flats. I tend to gravitate towards metallics because they are neutral but still interesting. These pewter ones are super comfortable!
8. IPhone: Self-explanatory, right? I’m currently using this fun cheetah print case so my phone is always easy to spot!
9. Elsa Peretti diamond stud earrings: These were an anniversary gift from my husband and I wear them almost every day. Diamond stud earrings are a perfect accessory… simple, timeless, and appropriate for all occasions!
Want more of Stephanie’s style? Follow her on Twitter!
Posted in Bright Lights
Tagged Ballet Flats, Elsa Peretti, J. Crew, Louis Vuitton, Rebecca Minkoff
8 Comments
Upturned Noses: A Rant on the Pulitzer Debacle
he news earlier this week that no Pulitzer would be awarded in the category of fiction came as a shock to me, as it did to much of the rest of the country. Although I have to admit that I’ve veered off course this past year to study the writing of the Dalai Lama, fiction will always be my great literary love. The first writing I can remember doing was in the form of the short story — likely something tragic, as 12-year-old girls are wont to write. As a lover of fiction, and especially as a writer, I can imagine the great dismay of the two living authors who were selected as finalists for this year’s prize. David Foster Wallace, I feel sure, rolled his eyes too, wherever his spirit may be. This is about as close as the book world comes to Kanye rushing the stage during Taylor Swift’s Grammy acceptance speech.
One of the Pulitzer judges, Georgetown University professor Maureen Corrigan, defended the jury in a piece for the Washington Post entitled “Pulitzer’s no decision on fiction prize exposes flaw in process.” In the article, she explains that the jury read over 300 works of fiction over a six month period of time, narrowing their selections down to three volumes. Those three finalists were then sent to the Oz-esque panel, which should have chosen the final awardee. It was at the point that the jurors handed over their selections that something went wrong. The Pulitzer panel, it seems, wasn’t satisfied with any of the choices offered. Instead of asking for more options — which I guess isn’t in the rule book — they chose not to give an award. Why? To save the $10,000 they would otherwise give to a deserving author? To prove that the literary world has such high standards? What statement is this making other than this one:
<< That’s snobbery.
Anyway, rant over. All this has made me think about the non-Dalai Lama books that I read and loved this year. Although I definitely didn’t read 300 works, I did read a few new releases, and I’ve narrowed it down to three — two works of fiction, one work of non-fiction. I won’t post synopses here, since you can find those on Amazon. Instead, I’ll explain why I love each.
(Image: Notes from Josephine)
The Marriage Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides
Part of my attraction to the Marriage Plot stems from seeing Mr. Eugenides read from the novel when he was here in Portland. He was so thoughtful and generous in answering the audience’s (sometimes overly drawn out) questions that I couldn’t help but find those same qualities in the book’s characters. Part of what makes The Marriage Plot such a strong piece of fiction is the complicated, confusing, frustrating inner lives of the characters. At times, I felt inclined to jump ahead so I wouldn’t have to watch the characters make the mistakes they do. It’s not just about a quarter life crisis, but about love, and how the definition of love grows and changes as you do. It’s about mental illness, both from the perspective of the ill and those who love them. As someone who once dated a person with severe depression and social anxiety, I can attest to the very realness of Claire’s thoughts and actions. The Marriage Plot felt, to me, completely honest.
The Leftovers, Tom Perrotta
This isn’t a book about The Rapture. Actually, that’s what’s so confusing to the characters — it wasn’t just Christians, or the pious, who disappeared without so much as a puff of smoke one day. The mysteriousness of that event itself would be enough to write about, but Mr. Perotta isn’t really that interested in going the sci-fi or religious route with this book. Instead, he looks closely at the ways that the baffling event affects a single family. It made me think about the way that we always expect change to be gradual, but that our worlds can be turned upside down within a matter of seconds. Maybe more importantly, who we think we are can change with just one event. Even though I read The Leftovers months ago, I still think about these themes all the time.
Blue Nights, Joan Didion
I read The Year of Magical Thinking on a train ride I took by myself between New York and Boston, and I think there was something to being in transition that made the book even more impactful. In the summer of 2009, I went to see a one-woman performance of the book in Cape Ann, on a whim, also solo. Maybe those experiences are the reason why that book and the follow up, Blue Nights, make me feel like Joan Didion knows something about me, even though she will never know that I even exist. During a devastating period of two years, she lost her husband, John Dunne, and their daughter, Quintana Roo. Blue Nights isn’t about grief so much as it’s about motherhood — what it means as an outsider, and how that changes, sometimes long after becoming a parent. Both books have been powerful in sketching out emotions and relationships that I, in my mid- and late-twenties, have just begun to understand.
Listen to a wonderful interview Terry Gross did with Joan Didion on Fresh Air.
The gorgeous T at the beginning of the post is courtesy of The Daily Dropcap!
Posted in Books
10 Comments
